Bridesmaid Lotto Read online

  “Oh yeah. Magical. I’m going to magically watch the funds from my bank account disappear.”

  “I told you not to worry didn’t I?” he said. “You’re coming with me after work. We are going to find you something gorgeous. And cheap.”

  He walked away exaggerating the flamboyancy of his walk even more.

  “How are you going to find something that I can afford?”

  “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Ye of little faith. You will see my dear, you will see.”

  I couldn’t figure out how he was going to pull it off, but I had no other choice but to put my faith in Mattie. I quickly checked my bank account. Three hundred and sixty eight dollars. And I still had to get through a week and a half before my next paycheck. Crap. Mattie better know what he’s doing.

  Although I suppose I could dip into my travel savings a little since mother has agreed to pay for the trip. Hmm. With a little miracle from Mattie, maybe this could work after all.

  # # #

  “You are going to look even more gorgeous than usual darling,” Mattie said, rattling off an address I didn’t know to the cab driver.

  “I’m dying here Mattie. Where the heck are you taking me?”

  “Don’t be so anxious. It doesn’t become you,” he said.

  “Thanks a lot.”

  “Oh, don’t worry. I’m here for you as more than just a fashion advisor. I come complete with lessons on manners, how-to makeup tips, as well as with a full-fledged hair stylist.”

  “You have a full-fledged hairstylist at your disposal?”

  “No.” He looked at me like I was the world’s largest moron, which given the situation, might be true. “I am a full-fledged stylist, and I am at your disposal.”

  “Um… okay. So then, why aren’t you a stylist for a living?” I asked. I imagined that the money for a top stylist would be far superior to the junior copywriter business.

  He waved his hand dismissively. “I just don’t have the patience for it. I might have rolled my eyes one too many times at the wrong socialite or something,” he said.

  “Okay?” I said hoping he would elaborate, but apparently that would be the end of it.

  “Oh my God, we’re here,” he squealed like a school girl. “You are so going to die when you walk in here. But you have to promise not to let anybody else in on this secret. If people knew, half the city would be in here in about a half a second.”

  All the secrecy only made my excitement grow, though I was a little concerned at the sketchiness of the neighborhood. In fact, I was a little surprised that Mattie would even venture into an area like this.

  “It’s a little scary here,” I said, looking at him for a reassurance.

  “I know. The first time I came here I nearly peed in my knickers, but I swear, even if one of us gets stabbed, it will totally be worth it.”

  “Oh yes, I’m sure,” I said. Mattie had a bit of a flair for the dramatic.

  I peeked my head out before I dared step out of the cab, and just as I was working up the courage, Mattie shoved me from behind.

  “Hurry, we don’t want to be stuck standing out here for too long.” He threw some money at the cab driver and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the dingy entranceway.

  But being inside did little to calm my nerves. “This place is really creepy.”

  “I know. But I am serious. It is worth it. You just gotta have faith.”

  I wanted to close my eyes and let Mattie drag me along, but I was scared I might fall or something, and the floor was certainly not the kind of floor you wanted to make contact with any bare skin. So I kept them half open, sort of squinting, mostly because I was scrunching my nose, and trying to imagine that this place wasn’t as bad as it actually was.

  Finally, at the end of the hall we reached a small, pink door. On it, brighter pink letters spelled out ‘Designer Palace.’

  “Well this is out of place,” I said.

  “Yeah, I know. Thank God it’s pink though, or I would never remember which one it is.”

  He knocked lightly. A moment later an older man, small and hunched over, pulled the strange pink door open with a loud creak.

  One glance told me that the inside was much more welcoming than the dingy, disgusting hallway. A fresh, clean smell came drifting out of the cheery apartment.

  It was a relief, even still mingling with the foul odor of the hallway. The man nodded at us and whooshed his arm in a ‘come in’ motion.

  Mattie grabbed my hand and yanked me in. Obviously he was about as excited to be standing in that hallway as I was.

  I blinked. Then blinked again.

  I could not believe what I was seeing. Dresses lined the walls. And not just any dresses. Designer dresses. My mouth dropped open and my eyes were as wide as Katie Perry’s.

  Mattie smiled smugly. Apparently he was pleased with my reaction.

  “You haven’t even seen the best part yet,” he said. “Look.”

  He grabbed one of the dresses and twisted the sales tag so I could see.

  “Two hundred dollars!” I yelled. I took a closer look at the gown. Then the other gowns. They were all designer originals. Some were brand new from this season. But it also looked like they had all the seasons right back to vintage. “But how?”

  “I’m sure we don’t even want to know. All we need to know is that they are here, and you can afford them. Now, let’s find you something to try on.”

  Mattie immediately went for a gorgeous red silk vintage Chanel gown that would have suited me perfectly and, if I did say so myself, would make me look damn good.

  “Remember, no red,” I reminded him.

  He let out a huge breath. “That diva. What a beeyotch.”

  I giggled a little. “Um. Yeah. I can see why you wouldn’t have done so well in the stylist field.”

  “Oh shush,” he said, and went back to searching.

  I started flipping through what seemed like hundreds of gowns.

  “Honey,” Mattie said. “No offence, but you should leave this to the professionals.”

  “Oh, and you’re the professional?”

  He gave me a little glare and whipped his head away letting me know he was not amused. He dove back into the dresses.

  I found a cushy bench to relax on and wait for my fashion coordinator to find the perfect dress. It was a little shocking when he returned and the dresses were mounded so high, I could no longer see him behind the pile.

  “Did you leave anything on the racks?”

  He gave me a muffled reply but I couldn’t make it out, which was probably for the best anyway. He expertly laid the entire pile on a small table beside me.

  “You seriously want me to try all those on?” I asked. I was not much of a tryer onner.

  “Of course,” he said. He looked at me as if I were an alien. “How else am I supposed to find you the perfect dress?”

  “Okay,” I said and carefully pulled the top dress off the pile.

  Mattie sat on my bench to wait. I came out in a black Oscar De La Renta beaded sheath dress.

  “You are magnificent,” Mattie said. And he actually sounded sincere. “You are going to make Jake Hall pitch one right there in the middle of the party.”

  “Oh nice. You make me feel so very classy.”

  “Oh come on. You know that’s the whole point of this crazy Bridesmaid charade.”

  “Okay, so this is the one,” I said, strategically changing the subject.

  “Oh, you’re going to try the rest on,” he said.

  “What? Why?”

  “Oh please. This is a VanHorn wedding. You honestly think there’s only going to be one formal party before the wedding? Right.”

  “Oh shit. There are going to be more parties aren’t there?”

  “Honey, you have no idea. Those people live to get together. I’ll be surprised if a week goes by without some sort of pre wedding function,” he said.

  “Thank God my mother is paying for my trip. I’d never have the money to do all
this if she wasn’t,” I said.

  “I don’t know why you’re so worried about going to Europe when you have a much bigger chance of a lifetime right here. You basically have a one in four chance of marrying Jake Hall.”

  “Don’t you think that’s just slightly dramatic Mattie?” I said. “I mean seriously, what are the chances that he’ll even actually date one of us?” I hated to admit a tiny ray of hope actually crossed my mind.

  “You figure you’re going to get another chance like this in your lifetime?”

  “As if it matters Mattie. It’s not like he’s even going to look my way. Did you see my competition? They all look like models. How in the hell did they randomly pick such good looking women?” I was starting to sound a little like I was ranting.

  “Oh please. You don’t think they actually picked them randomly do you? Believe me; you could fit right in there with those girls. You’re just lacking confidence.”

  I slumped my shoulders. I had never thought of myself as lacking confidence.

  “Don’t worry gorgeous,” he said. “You can fake it. I’ll show you. You should have seen me when I first moved to this city. I thought it would eat me alive.”

  “You? I can’t even imagine.”

  “Exactly,” he said looking like he felt totally comfortable in his own skin.

  I tried to remember a time when I felt like that.

  I couldn’t.

  I grabbed the next dress on the pile but I couldn’t resist one last glance of myself in the mirror before I took off the dress. I really did look spectacular. Yipes, perhaps it was time for another entry into the Disaster Diary.

  Dear Disaster Diary,

  Everybody was snickering behind my back and I had no idea why. Until, near the end of the day, I discovered that my shirt had been on backwards all day. Nice of someone to let me know. So what’s a girl to do when her shirt is on backwards? Well, turn it around, obviously. So off to the bathroom stall I went. The shirt just happened to be a mock turtleneck, and of course I just had to decide to take only my arms out and twist the shirt that way. And then, disaster struck. The shirt twisted and twisted and twisted, but did not release from around my neck. I, for some reason kept twisting. They told me that I was found passed out on the bathroom floor, shirt up around my neck. Yeah. Classy. Especially since it was paramedics that woke me up.

  I quickly changed, and as I walked out of the room, Mattie actually gasped.

  “Wow, you really are gorgeous.”

  I think I may have actually blushed. “Really?” I said and turned to face the mirror. Okay, even I had to admit that I looked pretty dang good. It was a Dolce and Gabana that hugged all the right curves. With the deep yellow background and tropical flowers, no one would miss me in it, that was for sure.

  I tried on several more, but settled on the first two, and a less formal Betsey Johnson in a light pink that complimented my coloring.

  I went to the small counter by the front door, excited about my gowns. I was about to pay bargain basement prices for these fantastic designers. I was still a bit skeptical, but Mattie assured me that everything was kosher. I stood at the till and took a deep breath as I hit the savings button instead of the usual checking on the debit keypad. I hadn’t done that in several years and it nearly made me sick to my stomach. I just kept chanting “Mom’s paying for Europe, Mom’s paying for Europe.” The sales guy was looking at me weird, but I had to keep chanting or I wouldn’t have been able to get through the process.

  Mattie and I left the dress shop bouncing like schoolgirls. I clung to my gowns like they were made of gold. In this neighborhood I knew I couldn’t be too careful.

  But we made it safely into the cab and headed back towards home. The further we went, the better I felt, safer and even more excited about my purchases.

  “You did good girl,” Mattie said.

  “Thank you so much for taking me Mattie. I don’t know what I would have ever done without you. I could never afford these dresses normally.”

  “I know who can? But I like to think of that place as the secret weapon that will land us Mr. Hall.”

  “Yeah, okay,” I said and rolled my eyes, but truthfully, I was feeling more confident already.

  “Accessory time!” Mattie yelled.

  Shit. I’d forgotten about accessories, although I remembered I still had a few dollars to spare in my regular account. I supposed I could spend just a bit on accessories.

  “Don’t worry,” Mattie said, reading my mind. “Because you have such fantastic designer dresses, you can get away with wearing knock off stuff for accessories.”

  “I can?”

  “Oh yeah. Everyone will just think you’re being trendy. The dress forgives almost anything.”

  “Thank God, I can’t afford any of the real stuff,” I said.

  We’d finally made it back to my apartment and took my dresses up for safe keeping before we went out for accessorize.

  “Hey,” Calla said when we walked in. “Ooh, somebody’s been shopping.”

  “Mattie took me to this fantastic secret dress shop; you will not believe what I got!”

  “Serious?” she said, getting up and coming over. “Let’s see.”

  I quickly unzipped the garment bags and pulled out my three gowns.

  “There is no way you can afford these,” she said.

  The look on her face was priceless, half in awe, and half worried.

  “They were two hundred dollars each,” I said.

  “Shut up!” she screamed and shoved me. “They were not.”

  I nodded.

  “Mattie,” she said. “You have to show me where it is!”

  He sighed. “It’s supposed to be a secret dress shop. If I keep showing everybody, it’s not really going to be a secret anymore.”

  “I promise I am really good at keeping secrets. Please Mattie, please.”

  “Fine, whatever. I’ll show you sometime. But for now, we must accessorize! The party’s only a few days away.”

  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, my stomach began to churn.

  “I am going to meet Jake Hall in a few days. Oh man, he’s going to think I’m such a loser.” I sat down and tried to think, but my mind was racing too fast.

  “Calm down Josie,” Mattie said. “I swear, you’re going to be just as good as the rest of those girls. Except, better. Way better.”

  “Of course you are,” Calla said sitting down beside me. “Who else do you think is going to look as good as you? I mean you have the secret dresses. Plus from what I saw on TV, you’re much prettier than them.”

  “Thanks guys,” I said, knowing they were just saying whatever it took to make me feel better. “But this whole thing is just so weird. I don’t want it to turn into some kind of creepy reality show where the four of us are all fighting for one man. It seems so ridiculous.”

  “Then don’t worry about that part,” Calla said. “Just be yourself. Don’t even worry about Jake Hall. Don’t worry about the other Bridesmaids. Just go have fun. Keep thinking about your trip.”

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “You’re right,” I said, starting to smile. “I won’t even let it bother me. My life is good. I won’t try to change anything. I’ll just go there and have fun. Who cares about Jake Hall, right?”

  “Right,” Calla and Mattie said in unison.

  The only thing that worried me was, what if I wouldn’t be able to push the gorgeous Hollywood superstar out of my mind?

  ~ 4 ~

  Mattie spent most of Saturday primping and combing, plucking and tweaking, getting me all set for the big night. The engagement party was so close now I could taste it, and I was doing a really good job not getting too worked up about it. As Mattie did me up, Calla calmed me down. I really was working with a great team.

  “If only I could have you guys there with me,” I said.

  “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” Calla said.

  “You’ll be spectacular,” Mattie c
orrected.

  “Thanks,” I said. “But don’t tell me that. I can’t afford to start thinking of this as an important night, or I’ll barf all over my Dolce and Gabana.”

  Mattie, Calla, and I had all decided that it was best to enter with a bang and really knock their socks off the first night.

  “You never get a second chance to make a first impression,” Mattie kept saying.

  Although even I had to admit, I was one hot mamma in that dress. The dress itself was pretty busy so I didn’t need much for accessories. A small clutch and fabulous teal shoes were all we chose. Mattie had done a great job on my hair. I couldn’t believe he hadn’t let me in on his little hair secret ages ago.

  “You know, you really could do this for a living,” I said checking out the back with a second mirror.

  “I know,” was all he said, spraying me with another burst of ultra hold.

  Emma VanHorn was sending a limo for each of the girls so we could all make our first appearances in style. My stomach churned while I waited. All I could do was breathe and try to stop my insides from vibrating.

  “Oh my gosh,” Calla said. “Even I’m nervous.”

  “Shhh,” Mattie said. “We’re not talking about that remember?”

  “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay guys,” I said. “At least if we’re talking about it, I don’t have to think over all the horrid things that could happen.”

  “Nothing is going to happen,” Calla said. “You are so going to look better than anybody there.”

  “Oh God,” I said. “I better not have a nicer dress than Emma VanHorn! She’ll kick me out of the wedding party!”

  “I wouldn’t worry about that,” Mattie said. “She wears designer everyday. She probably had something done custom just for tonight.”

  “Right. You’re right. Okay, just breathe,” I told myself.

  I took several deep breaths.

  “Just try to remember that this night doesn’t matter. Enjoy yourself. All you have to do is get through these parties, get to the wedding, and you’ll have your trip,” Calla said.