Bridesmaid Lotto Read online

  “Just be creative.”

  He exited my cubicle in a flourish. But he’d made me even more nervous. I wondered if I should start brainstorming right away.

  “Club hopping?” I said to myself. “No, too generic. Remember, cost is not a factor.”

  I tapped my mouth with my pen. “I wonder if something like hiring a psychic or something would be fun?”

  I wrote that one down.

  “Oh wait. But what if the psychic tells her she’s going to get divorced or something.”

  I scratched a double line through it.

  “Limo? Maybe. Poker Night? No. That would mean it’s only the five of us, and we don’t really even know each other.”

  I started doodling on the brainstorming paper. Mrs. Jake Hall, I wrote. Mrs. Josie Hall. Mrs. Josephine Hall.

  Good lord, what am I doing? I’ve got to start reading that Disaster Diary. I pulled it out and read over my first few entries. Boy did it work. I shoved my doodle page back into my purse with the diary.

  “Okay, back to it. Maybe something formal, more like a Bridal Shower? No. Too boring.”

  I sighed, leaning back in my chair. Then it struck me. Yes! That’s it!

  I hit the reply button on the email.

  Hi Emma, Josie McMaster here.

  Thanks for giving us the opportunity to pitch in on your very special occasion. (No harm doing a little sucking up, right?) I would like to throw my hat into the Bachelorette Party idea ring with the following:

  Pampering Paradise Party Plan:

  Find awesome island paradise location which includes a pampering spa and lots of places to party.

  Invite all your friends.

  Take off for a long weekend.

  Hit the bars and dance all night long.

  Hit the beach and relax.

  Hit the spa and rejuvenate.

  Fly home feeling completely enchanted and refreshed.

  Hope this helps, and starts some ideas flowing. If you want some help finding a great spot, please let me know, I’d be happy to assist in any way I can.

  Your Bridesmaid,

  Josie McMaster

  I had been so immersed in my email that I hadn’t even noticed Mattie sneaking into my cubicle or hovering over my shoulder.

  “Ooh, that should put you in the running,” he said.

  “Jesus Mattie,” I yelled, nearly jumping right out of my chair. “What the hell!”

  He backed off, putting his hands in front of himself defensively. “Whoa, sorry honey. I thought you knew I was here.”

  I took several deep breaths and tried to get my heart to stop beating so fast. “It’s okay. You just scared the hell out of me.”

  “Sorry,” he said again.

  “So, you like the idea?”

  “Yeah, I think she’ll love it. She can invite all her famous friends and the paparazzi will show up for sure.”

  “Really? You think they would fly all the way out to some island just to get a few pictures of Emma’s Bachelorette party?”

  “Of course they would. This Bridesmaid Lotto is the hottest thing in town,” he said. “I’m watching updates every night on Entertainment News. They’ve got the exclusive inside look at all the wedding related events.”

  “Really? No wonder everyone is walking around looking at me so weird.”

  “You’re a star gorgeous. And apparently one of the front runners in the ‘who’s going to land Jake Hall’ betting circle.”

  “What? People are betting on who’s going to land Jake Hall?”

  “Of course,” he said with a wave as if I was a complete moron for not realizing that this was obvious.

  “I honestly don’t think this whole thing is about Jake Hall finding a date. It’s totally about Emma VanHorn getting a bunch of money to pay for her wedding.”

  “Please honey,” he said turning away. “It is all about Jake Hall.” He started walking out.

  “Um, just out of curiosity,” I said, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. “Who is my leading competitor as front runner?”

  Mattie gasped. “I knew it!” he said and ran back into my cubicle. “You totally are into Jake Hall.”

  I shook my head. “I am not,” I lied. “I was just curious about who the general public thinks is the competition.”

  “Pretend whatever you want my dear,” he said. “I know you too well, and I know you are so in love with Jake Hall.”

  “Mattie!”

  “Okay, okay. Calm yourself. Right now you’re running a close second behind Rebecca Singleton in the polls.”

  “Really?” I said. “That’s funny. He’s been paired up with Jennifer Wilson in the wedding party.”

  “Oh my God, scoop!” Mattie yelled. “You’ve been paired up already? Who did you get?”

  “Guess.”

  “No,” he said, looking horrified.

  “Oh yes,” I said, closing my eyes and nodding.

  “Not Eric VanHorn?”

  “Who else?”

  “Ugh. You have the worst luck in the history of mankind.”

  “Oh really, I hadn’t noticed.”

  “Oh stop,” he said punching me lightly on the shoulder. “You may have bad luck, but you’ve been blessed with beauty and brains, so it’s not all bad.”

  “I know, I know,” I said.

  I had absolutely no reason to complain. I knew that I had a good life. I mean, everyone has a pushy mother, right? It just seemed like any little Murphy’s Law situation imaginable came raining down in a single narrow column right over my head.

  “Chin up darling,” he said patting my head. “You’re going to win this little Bachelorette Party contest, become completely famous and win the heart of Jake Hall.”

  “Pfft. Please,” I said and waved as he left my cubicle.

  There was one more email I’d not yet opened. It was from another email that I didn’t recognize. [email protected]. I clicked on it.

  Hi girls!

  It’s Bobbi Lynne Mayfield. Oh my gosh, wasn’t that engagement party just the best last night? I thought so. I have never in my life seen anything so extravagant. I felt like such a princess, didn’t you? You girls all looked so fantastic, I felt like such a country bumpkin compared to you all who seemed to be right at home.

  Anyway, I was wondering if any of you would like to get together and get to know each other a little bit, since we’re going to be spending so much time together over the next three months. I am so looking forward to all of it. It’s like a magical fairy tale come to life.

  Oh brother.

  Anyway, if any of you are free for drinks around seven, email me back, I’d love to get together!

  Your sister in Bridesmaid-dom,

  Bobbi Lynne ;-)

  “Mattie!” I yelled.

  “You bellowed?” he said, and peeked his head in the door.

  “Yeah, hi. Do you think I should go out for drinks with the other Bridesmaids?”

  “Hmm,” he said, thinking it over very carefully. “On the one hand, they might just be wanting to get closer to the competition...”

  “Mattie, it’s not a competition.”

  “Oh honey,” he said shaking his head. “Anyway, on the other hand, you could also find out a little more about your competition. Plus the paparazzi might be around, making you even more famous.”

  He paused for a moment, deep in thought. “Yes. Yes definitely. I think you should do it,” he said.

  “Why?”

  “Other than the reasons I’ve already mentioned?”

  “Yes.”

  He sighed. “Because if you don’t, all the other Bridesmaids will think you’re a big giant snob and try to sabotage you for the rest of the pre wedding events.”

  “That is a good point,” I said. The last thing I needed was to put more pressure and likelihood for embarrassment on myself. I had enough of that sort of likelihood all on my own.

  I clicked the reply button.

  Hi Bobbi Lynne,

  Is was
nice to get your email this morning, though I thought you had fit in with the crowd just marvelously.

  Okay, I admit, Mattie was helping me write this one, in case you hadn’t noticed.

  I thought I was the one not fitting in at all. Anyway, thank you for the invite. I certainly would like to get to know you and the other girls better. It looks like we’re in for some fun times and I’m sure we can make them even more fun by becoming good friends.

  See you tonight; I’m looking forward to it.

  Bridesmaid #4,

  Josie McMaster

  “Good,” Mattie said. “Now we have to find you something to wear.”

  “What’s wrong with what I have on,” I said looking down at my casual business pantsuit.

  “Well, nothing for work honey, but you’re a star now. You have to dress the part. You’re meeting for drinks with the other Bridesmaids. Collectively, you are sure to be the hottest group out there tonight.”

  He paused to lean back and scrutinize me. “Hmm. Do you have anything cocktailey?” he asked.

  “Cocktailey?”

  “Yeah, for cocktail hour.”

  “I don’t know. What constitutes cocktailey?”

  “Oh my God, you’re hopeless,” he said waving his arms dramatically. “I have got to get you a subscription to vogue. It’s a damn good thing you have me, or you’d be completely lost.”

  “I know. And I really do appreciate your help Mattie,” I said. “But really, I don’t think I can afford to buy any more clothes. I’m already way past what I should have spent, even though I got such an awesome deal on the dresses.”

  He nodded. “Not a problem, but I am going to have to get into your closet. I’m sure I can put something together.”

  I shrugged. “Okay, I guess. It’s just a closet.”

  He gasped. “Honey, the inside of a person’s closet holds the key to who they really are. And if I know you at all, and I think I do, your closet is going to reveal some interesting secrets.” He was nodding slowly with his eyes wide as he finished his sentence.

  “Perhaps,” I said with a little smirk.

  “I knew it,” he said. He licked his finger and made a sizzle noise as he touched me with it. “Okay, I’ll meet you in here after work.”

  “Thanks Mattie.”

  The work days were getting harder and harder to concentrate on. With all this wedding/paparazzi/Jake Hall stuff, my mind was pretty much occupied on everything besides work. But I made it through the day and Mattie and I headed back to my apartment.

  “Hello,” Calla said with a smile when we arrived.

  “Hey,” I said.

  Mattie greeted her with his usual, “Hello gorgeous.”

  “We’re going to raid my closet. I’m supposed to meet the other Bridesmaids for drinks.”

  “Aw,” Calla said. “I was hoping we could hang out tonight. I’m dying to watch you on ‘Entertainment News.’”

  “Sorry,” I said. “We’ll have to do that tomorrow or something. Mattie thinks that if I don’t go tonight, I’ll be ostracized from the group or something.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right. You don’t want to look like the beeyotch who’s too good for everybody else.”

  “That’s what I said,” Mattie said.

  I shrugged. “I guess. This is all too weird though. I feel like I’m back in high school or something. And I hated high school. Remember Calla?”

  Calla nodded vigorously. “Oh yeah, McMaster the Disaster.”

  Mattie looked at me with wide eyes.

  “Oh gee, thanks Calla, so glad you’re letting more people in on that fun little nickname.”

  Mattie let out a little snort.

  “Sorry. But it’s just Mattie. He won’t tell anybody.”

  “No, I won’t,” Mattie said. “I will however gain an enormous amount of pleasure from picturing you as a disaster in high school. Oh what you must have been like without my guidance.”

  Calla started giggling. “It was usually pretty entertaining,” she said.

  “Shut up,” I said, not really wanting to recall all my embarrassing moments just before meeting my three ‘competitors’ as Mattie liked to call them.

  “Come on,” Mattie said shoving me towards my room. “To the closet!”

  I led him down the short hall to my room and flung the closet door open. “Have at it.”

  He actually clapped his hands with glee before he dove in. Clothes, shoes, and accessories were soon being flung everywhere. Every so often he would let out a little whoop or a dramatic “yes!” Once he even yelled out a muffled, “Thank God you don’t throw anything away.”

  Finally, he had come up with an outfit that he was happy with.

  “Not too dressy, you want to look like a normal person, not a diva. And not too casual, you are, after all, a superstar.”

  He pulled out my favorite pair of long jeans and a simple, purple, square necked spaghetti tank.

  “That’s it?” I said, thinking it was awfully plain and boring and definitely not dressy enough.

  He sighed dramatically. “Of course this is not it,” he said. “This is just the base coat.”

  “Base coat? Like makeup?”

  “No, not like makeup. Well, sort of like makeup I guess. This is just the blank canvas that we will be decorating. Believe me, this outfit is all in the accessories.”

  “Okay, but I don’t really have any mind blowing accessories either.”

  “Oh, you just wait,” he said mischievously. “Now go,” he said, shooing me out of the room to change.

  I came back in feeling rather bare and uneventful. But Mattie was still as enthusiastic, so I decided to humor him. For now.

  “Okay, here we go,” he said, as if we were about to set off on a whirlwind adventure.

  First he spritzed me with a bit of perfume. Then he somehow swirled my hair up in a funky way, pinning it with only a few bobby pins. He pulled four, long, delicate waist and hip length sparkly necklaces over me and then pulled one arm through, the way you would carry a messenger bag. Finally he’d found an old pair of pointy toed silver boots from somewhere in the back of my closet that I didn’t even know I still had. I think they must have been my mother’s from the eighties. I would have never, ever thought of actually putting them on, but Mattie had a flair for fashion, and he was absolutely right. With just a couple inches of the toe of the boots visible under my long jeans, they were perfect.

  I looked in the mirror and saw a trendy, sparkly, fantastic person staring back at me.

  “Mattie, you are a genius,” I said.

  “Please, you don’t have to tell me,” he replied.

  “So what do I wear for a jacket?”

  “No jacket. An off one shoulder scarf,” he said wrapping me in a wide wooly scarf with just a hint of shoulder peeking through at the top.

  I nodded my approval.

  “And for the purse,” he said. “It has to be something that you hold in your hand, you’ve already got enough stuff going on with your shoulders.”

  He rummaged through my closet a bit more and found a black bag which I had always used for a makeup bag when I was traveling, but he was totally right. It looked perfect with the rest of the outfit.

  I came out to flaunt my new self to Calla.

  “Holy crap, Josie. You look like you belong in a magazine.”

  “Thank you,” I said smiling and doing a little curtsey.

  “Oh my God, I remember those boots from Halloween! I can not believe you are wearing those again!”

  “I know. Only Mattie can pull off a fashion resurrection like that,” I said, bowing to my fashion master.

  He bowed back. “Now if only I could be there to help you socially,” he said.

  “Gee thanks. Way to bring down a girl’s confidence,” I said.

  “Don’t listen to him, Josie. Just be yourself. Everyone will love you - just like we do.”

  “I’m kidding. You know I love you,” Mattie said and pinched my che
ek.

  “Okay, well I guess I’m off,” I said. “Thanks again Mattie.”

  “Not a problem my dear,” he said with a satisfied smile. “It’s sort of fun being back in the stylist business.”

  “Well you’re fabulous at it,” I said and ran out the door and down the stairs.

  ~ 6 ~

  I went straight to the lounge that Bobbi Lynne had picked and found all the girls there waiting for me.

  “Hi,” I said giving them a little wave.

  “Hi Josie,” Bobbi Lynne said. “I’m so glad you could make it.”

  The waitress was at the table almost instantly.

  “Chocolate Martini, please,” I said.

  “Ooh, that sounds good,” Bobbi Lynne said. “I’m going to try that next. Sheesh, if I keep trying new drinks, I’m going to be completely sloshed by the time this night is over.”

  I kind of liked Bobbi Lynne and her golly gee attitude. It was very refreshing from all the usual cynics.

  My drink arrived.

  “Well girls,” Jennifer said raising her glass. “To the Bridesmaids.”

  “To the Bridesmaids,” we all repeated and clinked our glasses together.

  I noticed that Rebecca kept looking around the lounge.

  “Are you waiting for someone?” I asked.

  “Just wondering where the hell the photographers are,” she said.

  “To tell you the truth, I was kind of hoping they wouldn’t find us,” I said. “I’m not really used to all this attention.”

  “Same here,” Jennifer said.

  “Really?” Rebecca said. “I’ve always got photographers around. I’m a model, so I guess it just comes with the territory.”

  “Oh yeah, I was wondering about that,” I said, smiling. “I thought your picture on TV looked like a professional photo.”

  “Yes, it was,” was all she said.

  Boy, some people just have a way of making you feel stupid, I thought to myself.